Sloshes, Munches, and Sips, oh my! (a quick guide to attending BK community events)
Welcome to Bloomington Kink!
Often when people ask how to become involved in kink or how to learn, the first thing they are told to do, is go to a community event called a “slosh”, “munch”, “sip”, etc. These events are a great first step into kink, but like all first steps, it can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect or how to behave. So to try & help alleviate those first time jitters, we're going to break down what these community events are, what they are not, what to expect at them, how to navigate them, and basic event rules/etiquette.
So what is a Slosh, Munch, Sip? Sloshes, Munches, and Sip's are all names/types of public kink community events. Most BDSM/Kink scenes have some variety of public get together(s), so there are lots of different names for these gatherings.
The biggest main distinction between these events are the location they're held:
Slosh: A Kinky gathering with boozy drinks. Typically at a bar. Munch: A Kinky gathering with food. At a restaurant, a cookout, etc. Sip: A Kinky gathering with non-alcoholic drinks. Typically at a café.
At their core, they're all designed to be relaxed, no pressure, non-kink social events, that typically take place in a vanilla (or "non-kink") space. While the ambience of these events can vary by city & community (and sometimes certain types of kink play may be allowed at an event), the majority of the time these events tend to be low key & inconspicuous.
What should I expect at a Slosh/Munch/Sip? Sloshes, Munches, and Sips all tend to have a laid back atmosphere, that is designed for folks to just hangout & talk with no pressure or expectations outside of simply socializing & connecting with others.
There is a lot of friendly conversation, card games, and of course (as applicable) drinking/eating/snacking. These events are a key part of the BDSM community, as it is where people can go to connect with friends, meet & get to know other kinksters, and establish themselves in the community. Keep in mind that different sloshes, munches, and sips draw different people & different energy – so if you aren’t crazy about the first one you attend, try another one, or a different group until you find the right fit.
What do I wear? Dress the way you would normally dress for an evening night out. Some folks wear jeans, some like to dress up a bit. It’s important to remember that sloshes, munches, and sips are a public gathering in a public vanilla setting. The biggest rule is to be street legal (see definition at the bottom of the page) and otherwise whatever you feel like. Discrete collars, corsets, and kilts are typically "mainstream" enough to be fine, but each event may have different attire rules, so it's important to always read the event descriptions when figuring out your outfit.
What do I do at a Slosh/Munch/Sip? Whenever you attend your first event, and you're ready to approach the group, come over & introduce yourself (with whatever name you want to be known by) to the person running that event and let them know its your first kink event. Most events have intros, ice breakers and/or games to help kick off the event. Conversations typically ebb & flow naturally, and people often move between the different mini social groups throughout the slosh/munch/sip. Whether you're a social butterfly, a quiet observer or somewhere in between, you can socialize at your own pace. Is there something you're curious about or want to try? Ask questions! Remember to just relax, have fun, and be yourself! It's obnoxiously cliche, but it's very true that if you embrace yourself, you'll find your people, and your people will find you. The chances are, if you approach a slosh/munch/sip in an open and friendly manner, you will likely walk away some new friends.
What do people talk about at a Slosh/Munch/Sip? Anything, everything, nothing, and somewhere between. Kinksters are a wildly diverse group of folks, and have many different backgrounds and interests. You may hear conversations that have nothing to do with kink, like graduations, car problems, and pop culture, or you may hear explicit conversations about flogging, violet wands, or how to lace corsets.
What does a Slosh/Munch/Sip look like to non-kink people? When you look at us, we look like a regular group of kinda nerdy people, because that's exactly what we are. We just also happen to be into some kinky shit. Kinksters value & respect anonymity, so most folks don't notice us, or if they do, they tend to assume we're a book club or some kind of nerdy group.
What is NOT a part of a Slosh/Munch/Sip? Speed dating or a kinky hook-up meetup. These events are community focused, rather than an easy place to find a kinky good time. Meaning if your sole reason for attending is only to find the BDSM version of a "wham bam thank you the'am!", you may find yourself disappointed. While people absolutely have the potential to meet a future play or romantic partner at a Slosh, Munch, or Sip, the focus of these get together is for people to forge their kink journey, explore, and pursue their curiosities.
Have a first date at the Slosh/Munch/Sip? You betcha! Sloshes, munches, and sips provide a perfect public place to meet up with someone you’ve met online (be it FetLife, dating apps, or social media). It’s an easy first date or first face-to-face hangout. If the person ghosts you, you’re not stuck alone, and if they do show up, you can see who they know in the community, and how they interact in a social setting.
General Bloomington Kink event rules:
Never assume consent / don’t touch people. Be it a handshake, a hug, a fist bump, or anything else, ALWAYS ask for consent first. Kinksters respect each other’s bodily autonomy – so always ask before touching someone or something, even if you think it’s an innocent touch. No one will get angry because you asked for consent.
Always respect boundaries No means NO, not "try harder". Consent is only consent what is it a: sober, informed, enthusiastic, non-coerced, verbal YES!
Execute discretion/Respect Anonymity The BDSM world depends on the safety & security of privacy. NEVER "out" someone.
- General Bloomington Kink kink tips!
Regardless of whether you're a Top/Dom or a bottom/sub, don't try to force titles or honorifics onto someone. Unless you have a kink dynamic or relationship with someone, the use of blanket titles is generally seen as inappropriate & is discouraged.
Don’t take pictures without consent from everyone in the picture. Even if someone would only appear in the background, you must get consent from everyone who would be visible in the picture.
Use the name someone introduces themselves by, or whatever they have written on their name tag, even if you know them by another name. Most people choose to use a "kink nickname" to protect their privacy.
Don’t assume someone’s pronouns (‘he’, ‘she’, ‘they’, etc) regardless of how they dress. Just as you would ask someone their name, ask their pronouns as well.
Remember if you purchase food or drink from the venue that the event is hosted at, that you need to pay your tab before you leave.
- Is there anything else I need to know? If you have questions, concerns, or worries about attending a Bloomington Kink event, please reach out to a Bloomington Kink leader. We're here and happy to help! What to wear & nudity in Indiana: Title 35 of the Indiana code IC 35-49-1-5: "Nudity" Sec. 5. "Nudity" means: (1) the showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area, or buttocks with less than a full opaque covering; (2) the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering of any part of the nipple; or (3) the depiction of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state.