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Dominance & submission 

In most BDSM play, there is someone in control and someone who is controlled. Dominants, Mistresses and Masters, Tops and Sadists are people who are in control of scenes or relationships. Submissives, slaves, bottoms and masochists are people who are generally not in control. 

There are no rules or guidelines about how D/s (Dominance/submission) “ought” to be done, and each couple organizes their relationship around their own rules and limits. Similarly, a person could be Dominant to one partner, and submissive to another. 


For some people, their D/s is contained within a specific set of circumstances or activities (scenes) and in their daily lives, their relationships are the same as anyone else’s. For example, some people might have a regular marriage but like to practice things like bondage or spanking. 


For some people, the power and control exchange extends into their everyday lives as well as just scenes. This is known as a D/s dynamic or power-exchange relationship. In these circumstances, the submissive consensually voluntarily gives up some amount of control in their lives to their Dominant. For some, it may be that they allow their Dominant to control certain aspects of their lives, such as what they eat or wear. Some people serve domestically, with household chores and tasks, some may have a special way to address their Dominant, or rules on how they should act. 


Many people believe that the submissive holds more of the power or is equal to the Dominant. This is because it is the limits of the submissive that provide the outline to the relationship. 

It is important to remember that these activities are strictly consensual.

Everything in a D/s relationship is negotiated & agreed upon before any action is taken.

The bottom can stop the activity at any time. 

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